la la lalala

Ahhhh the good old Jumble sale blogs… You know you all love them.. not

Well as I have a lot to say I will try and keep it short…

Had a half day yesterday, on the most wettest day ive seen in a while, got soaked !!
Lolz but when don’t I.. My jeans are always to long and get soaked, they sooookkk up the water and it soon appears at my knees… I like this in a way..

Ohhh I also like the noise of men scratching there stuble, it’s a nice noise and for some reason it turns me on… -scratch,scratch-

Back to the wet half day story, sooo my bus comes it’s the number 62 (but going east not west im not back in the day you see) So I say to the bus driver, do you go down The Forge.. (I don’t say mate cause he is not my mate and I don’t say these things)
He looks at me… “The Forge” I say… Again he looks and then points to round the corner, and says “I go there” hmmmm.. Yes well very good, yes, .. Yes he is polish and this makes me smile J The people behind inform me that yes this bus does goto The Forge..
Soo the reason I smiled re the polish bus driver is cause I love this.. you have no idea how much I love that we have polish people here.. I just imagine this new race.. (hmmm does that seem racist?) its like the southpark with the aliens but of course we are not all gonna end up bumming.. I just like the fact that we may end up this kewl like community of Polish/Scots, I know there are other people here aswell from far off lands and just down the road but like it’s a big thing just now, you know..
Anyway, it makes me smile and I love it,, I want polish friends !!!

Aye so that’s that, I end up at the forge get to asda get what I need and head for the bus stop, Now cause im going back to my place of homeliness I can get one bus from this bus stop, yes one bus.. now this bus comes after every bus .. I swear like 3 40s pass and then some more and then in the distance you see it… You see the old rickety double decker slowly drawing closer to the stop.. The left door swings open and then slowly but surely the right swings open.. I love this bus.. always the rickety broken doored 43 .. It makes me smile..

Ooopss missed out the point of the bus stop… There was this wee ginger boy there , he was around I would say 7 maybe, all trackied up, shaved heed with a pattern cut into it..little diamonte earing, Obviously he was using the bling to try and distract from his ginger hair.. Hmm it didn’t work..
Anyway the wee fucker!! (yes I did just call him that) well he was standing there and he just fucking spat !! like gobbed on the ground infront of his mother (she tried to bleach the ginger out her own mop) and also infront of old people and ME!!!! I hate folk spitting for the sake of it.. then some other cunt done it to, he was older but still,
FUCK OFF YOU MINGING FUCKS!!!
Also why do old men feel they always have to moan about buses.. I know I sorta moaned before about it, but I turned it round to something good, this old man sat at the bus stop moaning about the buses, then his bus comes, and what !!! he doesn’t fucking get on it !!!! he just walks away !!!!!
Is that how you spend your beige pee riddend days ??? sitting moaning at bus stops??
Try the bingo mate !!!

So next I was on my 43 bus that makes me smile and there is some skanks up the back.. well as “The Bus Driver” says Pram faces!! So anyway, all I hear is skank face shouting “ see that wee fucking prick, im gonni kick fuck oot him”
Then she starts saying to her wain, “manners, manners” cause it think she was giving him something to eat, no doubt an ‘E’ or something.. anyway she keeps doing that, and then all of a sudden the wain hits her and she says goni no fucking hit me ya wee bastard!! (was this the manners she was talking about?) I was shocked, anyway, it continues with her swearing her wee (well huge) arse off infront of the wain and then her BF says something to her, and she is all like, “im no gonni say whit I would love tae dae” and this was in regards to the wain..
Now obv folk are totally disgusted with them and they soon get off the bus but fuck me you should have seen the state of them.. Skanky,clarty fucking bastards!!!

Last night I was at the Stand seeing Red Raw.. Teddy was doing his topicals. So we thought we would all go along..
I really enjoyed myself, nearly every act made me piss myself laughing, a few not so funny,
I cant really remember there names, cause there was to much clapping (good thing) as they were being introduced..However the 1st guy on it was his first time and he was nervous but he was funny, I liked his stuff and he made me laugh a lot. I cant really remember the order after that, the man with the red tshirt from England was really really funny.. then this guy whos name I do know “ “ was sooo funny, I mean really really really funny … so I would def say check him out… oh they were all gid J they made me laugh like a hyinna on helium.. Anyway ended up in pub after, couldn’t face drink, couldn’t be sick in pub loo either cause the loo smelled so went back upstairs to the group.. hmm drunken fone calls are never good L

Anyway, got home and spewed.. never a nice thing.. nor is it when you get into your bed, pop the light out and then dizzy dizzy light on, toilet, spew, lie with light on in bed till pass out…. Wake up to find out passed out with light on, light off sleep

Get up at 6.30am blah , my eyes still look drunk .. time to get ready for work.

sandwiches??

Where do you start?

(do you know??)
This weekend has been strange..

Sometimes I do wish that folk didnt know it was me on here...
I talk about things a lot, I like to tell people stuff however sometimes I cant.. and that to me sucks… cause they will read it, and automatically you all think its bad...

Maybe I start a new secret blog ?? Hmmmm I might..

Well today I came back to this little Gem in the panty pad email:


Can I have my diamante studded crotchless thong back please? Even though it doesnt fit me as I am a 27 year old male.lol

A male? I rather say a sad loser... his email add lolzzz well he admires the fish put it that way...

Sooo Thursday night I went out with work, it was the whole get together thing, there was a dj,quiz and cheap drink :) sooo I got totally pissed,our team "The fanny tashers" won 1st prize £100 squid.. that went on drink and i danced my little heart out... My mate then came and got me... he was subject to foul language by an arse...

Things then got better :)

Friday ummmm I cant remember what happened friday actually... all I remember is being woken up at the back of 3am !!! then 1 hr later... tut tut..


Sat ... Smile, Walk in park, Smile ... choooooo chooooooo



I go home to G-mouth...

I play the WII, try on my dress, coat a couch in drink, go up town get drunk return home to bed where pass out...

Sunday: Smile

Monday: Bored during day, finish my kitchen tiles (they look gid) head to pub at night with lynds, we goto polo and dels, then up to campus, meet up with some young boys lolzzzz

all good... get in back of 3, sleep at 4 up at 6.30

Work :( groan.....

So I had a good weekend filled up with Smiles and curry n chips :)

What does the week hold???

I got a teaspoon from the Bus Driver !! Cheers for that :) not stolen though.. grrrr
I saw a pretty nose to :) I love noses...
also saw some rude words !!!

The mind boggles at the lack of thought of a hedgehogg

WELL WELL WELL,

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS WEATHER?? ISNT IT JUST GORGEOUS!!
YES VERY!!

I HAD A WEE HALF DAY YESTERDAY SO I WALKED HOME, AS I STROLLED THROUGH GLASGOW GREEN THE BLOSSOM FALLING FROM THE TREES A BIG SMILE APPEARED ON MY FACE…
FOLK MUST THINK IM A RETARD SMILING ALL THE TIME.. AGAIN TODAY I WAS PISSING MYSELF ON THE BUS TO RADIO 1… I CANT HELP BUT DO IT…

SO LAST NIGHT I WATCHED THAT CHANNEL PROG ON CHANNEL 4 IT WAS ABOUT EUNUCHS HOWEVER I SHALL CALL THEM EWOKS

REALLY THE SAME BOTH FURRY LITTLE THINGS..
ANYWAY THIS PROG WAS ABOUT MEN WHO DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE THERE BALLS, THEY BASICALLY WANTED TO BE CASTRATED..
NOW I FOUND THIS QUITE INTERESTING CAUSE PEOPLE WERE CALLING THEM FREAKS AND WHAT NOT..
NOW REALLY WOULD YOU CALL A MAN WHO HAD CANCER AND HAD TO GET HIS BALLS REMOVED A FREAK?? NO YOU WOULDN’T..
WHAT ELSE I FOUND STRANGE WAS THE FACT THAT NO DOCTOR WOULD REALLY DO IT, NOW WHY IS IT THEY ARE QUITE HAPPY TO PERFORM BREAST AND PENIS ENLARGEMENTS ON PEOPLE BUT NOT REMOVE BALLS?
SURELY ITS UP TO THE PERSON.. WHILE SOME DONE IT AT THE AGE OF 20 I THOUGHT MAYBE A BIT EARLY HOWEVER AGAIN EACH TO THERE OWN, THAT’S WHAT MAKES US AN INTERESTIN BUNCH..
THERE WAS ANOTHER GUY WHO WAS PRIEST AND HE HAD HIS REMOVED AND A VAG MADE BUT HEY KEPT HIS DICK..
I FOUND IT STRANGE THAT THEY ALL GOT THERE BALLS REMOVED YET THEY KEPT THERE DICKS..
ONE GUY EVEN DONE IT HIMSELF WITH THE THINGS FARMERS USE..
ALL I THOUGHT WAS
~CRUNCH~

AGAIN ANOTHER GORGEOUS DAY AND I PLAN TO WALK HOME.. I LOVE WHEN ITS LIKE THIS.

WHY IS IT WHEN I ALWAYS GO TO WRITE THIS BLOG I FORGET WHAT I HAVE TO SAY???

ITS EASTER IN WORK TODAY AND THERE ARE LITTLE YELLOW CHICK THINGS ABOUT, I HAVE PICKED UP 2 AND THEY ARE BOTH DEFORMED, POOR WEE THINGS.. OHHH TODAY A BIRD FLEW INTO A BUS STOP MOMENTS BEFORE I ARRIVED.. IT WAS LYING THERE ALL DAZED AND CONFUSSED, I FELT BAD FOR IT, I JUST HAVE A FEELING SOMEONE IS GONNA COME AND STAND ON IT.. THANK GOODNESS IM NOT GETTING THE BUS HOME OR I WOULD BE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW..
WHY DO I WORRY ABOUT THESE THINGS???

SO MY TILING IS GOING WELL, ITS LOOKING REALLY NICE, HOWEVER THE ROBOT IS NOT AND I NEED TO HAVE THESE MADE!! BUT IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN SO IM ANNOYED AT MYSELF...

ANYWAY.. IM FINISHED IN 17 MINS SO I BEST GET SOME WORK DONE,

OH WAIT GOT MY BREAK FIRST...

A Day of Days

Well well well, if it isnt 6 months since i stopped smoking !!!!!

WELL DONE ME!!!!

I aint one to blow my own trumpet in that but I am sooooo soooo happy and proud of myself that I have stuck it out... Not so proud that Im skint this month as I cant stop wasting money on phone. £115 this month, makes me want to throw up!!!!

Speaking of throwing up , last night I went out with Elle and Steph over to Weatherspoons then headed off to the loft in the west end where we met up with "The BusDriver" and his birthday crew..

It was good fun, v v busy :) then went off to the Oran M and got v v drunk and danced.. I love dancing there, its fun :) Saw many a nice thing in there !! There were a group of 3 gurls and Im sure the boys will remember that 2 of them had such fine Asses hahahhahaha... Bumping n Grinding!! Shake that ass for me, said shake that ass for me !! ! lolzzz

Then went across to the Dead Eyed woman van (she had a helper this time) I got a cheeseburger, NO Onion

it was ok, i binned most of it.. Jumped into a taxi with the bus drivers flat mate and went back to there plush pad, it was a gorgeous wee flat, then stayed for a wee bit.. then walked round the road....

soooooooooooo

this morning this is me

So Im ill sooo hungover, but thats what I get for drinking and staying up late, I was nearly up for 24hours, 2 hours shy !! lolz if only I had stayed up lolz,

so this morning im at work 10 am till 2pm :( Im being sick and its green rank!!!!

Today my parents are coming through, my dad is as bad as me, he is putting up my tiles today ;) yeahhhhhhh..

was meant to go out tonight however Im very poor (180 to last me) and im hungover to... so I think a night on the couch is what I need, shame cause I bought a nice skirt to go out in :(

I might be tempted but I doubt it, I need to have my serious thinking hat on..

Still another gorgeous day outside :)

BBQ time is coming !!!! heheheheheh

Sexy sexy

Blah,

The other day I was listening to the radio in the morning laughing away again as its funny when this song came on the radio

Natasha Bedingfield. I wanna have your babies.. (thats the song)

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,
But what if it don't?
What happens in my head stays in my head,
But sometimes it won't.
What if you knew what I was thinking?
Would it make you like "Whoa!"?I don't wanna risk putting my foot in this
So I keep my mouth closed.

Chorus:

All you hear is "Uh uh uh uh uh uh"
Gonna button my lips so the truth don't slip
Uh uh uh uh uh uh
Gotta beep out what I really wanna shoutWhoops!
Did I say it out loud?
Did you find out? (oow yeah)
I wanna have your babies
You're serious like crazy
I wanna have your babies
I see 'em springing up like daisies

Verse:
'Cause in my head there's a slot machine
And I'm betting you're the one in my hopes and dreams
La la la la la, la la la la la la laLa la la la la, la la, la la...
Trust me it'd scare you
If you knew what was going on in my brain
Trust me it'd scare you
That I picked out the church, or the schools or the names
If you knew it was all about you
Every wish, every candle, every coin in the fountain
Trust me it'd scare you

Ayeeeeeee so basically the gurls a fucking FREAK!!! She gives us gurls a bad name.. You dont tell a guy you want to have there babies,that you picked out the names !!! oh my god !!!

She is hot like but fuck freakky :) she says so herself :)

So it seems I have another stalker.... Now saying that makes me feel bad cause some other folk have been txtn me and I dont want them to think its them Im talking about..

It aint you or you for that matter and it def aint you!!

I really should start blogging about my stalkers, well this was the whole point of this blog but I decided not to bother.. but I think I might.. muahahhahaha..

Some say I bring it on myself... Not all the time I dont !!!
I onced got stalked and assulted in Tesco !! I was ever so scared, he overpowered me with his weapon......

Sex,lies and wanking

Its one of those mornings, it starts off damp and you can feel it.. It reminds me of summer mornings waking up from camping out your back garden the grass damp underfoot… I love that.. I love hearing the birds early in the morning cause you could never sleep properly in a tent in your back garden…

I have a half day today so Im hoping the weather perks up a bit. Im really not doing much, I have some D.I.Y to take care.. Im getting new tiles put up this weekend so I had to remove the old ones, I was slightly worried that I may put a hole in the plaster board but Ive actually surprised myself.. I love doing things like this so I tried my best not to make a mess, it took me an hour to remove them all which I think is pretty good going, I only cracked 3 or something J yeeeahhhhh me !! I also time manged and glossed my door first so when that was drying I removed tiles. Again Yeahhhhhh me!!!

My boiler man is coming around again..Its costs an awful lot of money and I feel bad that I am making my landlord pay this, I should have shopped around.. I said to the guy last night would it not be cheaper to get a new boiler.. (my dad told me they can cost just under £400 +) and the guy was like yeah I can get on and install it for £800.. nah mate I think I might just ask my dad to do that!! £400 for what????

Anyway, Also yesterday I had this thing at work and the guy was a total dick.. the way he spoke to people !! geezzz ohh what a cheek… I tried my best to stick up for myself I think I managed it !!!

What is it with people also doing this: a bin is moved at work and someone comments “whats going on here” FFS !! so what if the bin aint under your desk!! I mean really.. get a fucking life, and yes I know I should get a double life cause Im bloggin about it, but it bugs me!!

So back to the positive stuff… I have a secondement at work which is good, a wee change J
Speaking of change actually, someone stole money from my drawer at work!! It wasn’t even my money…some people even steal food…

I shouldn’t complain really I have nothing to complain about.. Everything at the moment seems to be going my way..

Sorry for the moans

Raggy Dolls

On thursday night I went out to see Teddy in his One man show in Bar Brel it was called Bittersweet: Teddy Bears...


The name is ever so true, this boy is bitter bitter bitter.. lolz but ever so funny with it..
(ps he also has a cute sensitive side)


The night started with me going for a quick work drink with some friends and my duck (hubert) I then headed home to clean up a bit and start drinking.. my mate Dougie arrived and helped drink the delights my fridge held and ate my Toffife.. yummmmm


eventually we left and ran for the number 18 or 16 bus I cant mind, maybe The Craig can remind us as he was driving the bus.. well so Dougie thought.. Anyway we get off our little bus and jump into Little Italy where we enjoy a yummy little Cheese and Tomato pizza slice..
then Mr Allador popped in and said hey hey hey before leaving to go and attend to Teddy..


Aye so that was that, headed for Brel, got ID by what turns out to be a 23 year old called Camzi!!! Oi Oi Oi North London Big up!!! aye aye


anyway Teddys show was fantastic, he made me laugh ever so much.. The woman next to me also made me laugh though, whilst Teddy was saying how much of a cunt he was and how he had done this and that, the woman beside me kept making Verbal agreements.. Does one know Teddy I thought ?? Hmmmm


lolz, it was really good so well done Teddy ;)


We then headed for the Oran M where we drank some more and danced.. they were playing the best music and i had great fun and I got to see some dodgy shoes with handlebar moustache and I met a tech teacher !!!! we talked robot !!!

So after watching Teddy and Allan working the dance floor the music stopped.. Was it there faults for showing off with there moves??? hmmm


We then fannied about a bit outside and then went for a burger !!!! Iwont say the name of the place.. where I was told not to look into her eyes of the lady as they were dead!!! oh my and she managed to cook burgers! My burger was ok, i can still taste the onions.. I met some interesting people at the burger van :) I met a man with a nice nose who was an animator and had a rescue dog called Miguel.. that man was kewl ;) I watched as the boys devoured there Scooby snax and contemplating having another. lolz greedy fux.


We eventually got in a taxi and i went to bed.. back of 3 in the morning with me getting up at 7 next day I felt rough at work but they were kind enough to send me home on a half day :) woot woot..


Anyway , I had a really good night, I met some really nice people,laughed loads,got drunk and had a good wee dance.. In my book thats a GID night !!!.


Here are some pics.. All looking a lil worse for wear, the last is the funniest cause we look like a bunch of rejects !!! Mon the rejects!!!