My Story told --threefold-- reeewinnd when the crowd say Bo!!!!! yer talking shite mate shut up!!

My my where do I start!!
First off its amazing how you start to steal words from people!! I stole the word dancing,what you on and my my.. Wait till I start stealing the word Pure!!!
so my weekend of weekends (aww how I miss sparticus) started on friday night when i was rudely awakened by... No I wasnt really I just felt I wanted to say that...Friday night... I had a nice wee dinner which was a yummy chinese!! Yum yum how I love it :)

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Thats for all you food bloggers!!!!!

It was funny thought cause like it was 3 delviery drivers to one car?? they were like gangsta delivery drivers.. then one guy was like, aahh mate can I get a can a coke for ma da!! all very funny I thought, but good chinese it is and it seems a good delivery force to!

Hoi Mr!!! check this out

hehehehheh you love it !!! (Barfffff!!!)

Anyway friday night was nice, I had several good conversations that night,glossed some doors and had a smile on my face!!! My My!!!

Saturday was also a very good day.. I saw some dodgy things going on where I live.. All very dodgy indeed very interesting... However I cannot tell you more incase I get my head kicked in!!

So me and my friend went into town had a wee look about the shops!! some people, I mean im not the best dressed person (far from it really) but some folk are utter skanks!! its all the gurls with the sunglasses and fake tans and the belly tops!! its fucking March!! it was raining,, WTF!!!

anyway we must have saw/seen (you decide) anyway loads of gurls in there sunshades cutting about the toon!! and well it was sad really then.. do do dooo out of the middle of nowhere these to wee gurls show up and they make these twats looks like even bigger fannies!! (excuse skank talk) why these little gurls cruise down the esculator wearing there sunnies and boy did they have some sunnies on!!

Yup those large novelty ones!!! they rock.. so anyway!!

Those wee gurls well made me laugh...

So I went for lunch got drunk then eventually got home..

My first ever bf then came to my house!! that was fun :) it was very strange seeing him again, he hasnt changed much but still makes me laugh.. I was meant to be going out with him and some of my other mates but I couldnt get a ticket and then when it came to going out after the gig I couldnt be arsed!!!

Sunday ended up in town cause the banks over my bit dont fucking work!! ended up buying myself little housewife stuff.. Yeah I know how exciting...

Also bought myself some knives and stuff, now these knives are very very sharp and big, I got one of those butcher knives to... look what I found on the net!!

This is the best knive aint it..

Now thats the kiss of death!!!

Aye so sunday again a nice day :)

this really is a shite blog,..

I saw a hen party down the barra's that made me laugh!!!

Hmm I blog later

again sorry for the shitness

Oh aye other news Tilly now using her ball, boy she can move!!

My gay blog

Ok,
So dont hate me cause im a gurl...dont think how pathetic either cause i know this blog is,butttttt I am allowed a gay blog every so often!!!!...

Its strange that gurls keep dates isnt it...
Not all gurls do this, I like to know a few dates in my head...

Examples....

I know that its been 52 days since my wee Cleo Cat aka Jelly Belly got put down..
I remember my 1st bfs birthday..
I know that its been 138 days since i stopped smoking
I know that its been 6 months and 1 day of cheek
I know ive been single for 128 days
I know that I have been in my flat now for 1 week and 6 days and now I only
have 2 months left and this makes me sad cause I really like living on my own more than I ever thought I would..
I know ive had my wee Tilly aka Milford Cubicle for 4 days and a wee bit of night...

so dates dates dates... is it just gurls that remember silly things???

I have more examples.. but I shant bore you with this pointless shite....

I wish it was easter so I can make what I want to make.. It would be good if it was early......

Im talking rubbish I really am...

blahh!!!

of course you are bored so you will read this !

Stick a pole up it

Blah!! That’s what I am saying about it today.. Im tired and hungover.. Ive been on a bit of a binge the last 2 nights… Where do I start ???

Polish girls are very pretty.. this is always a good place to start.. I saw one on the bus today, I think us scots gurls should take note… the guys are not that nice, and it always seems its pretty polish gurls with ugly men, soooo the men here have a chance.. I think if we breed with the polish we will have gorgeous children!!

Look at it this way


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and



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Sooo really we are all fucking winners it seems.. Ugly Britain with pretty polish gurl = cute baby

Ugly polish man with Scottish gurly (nice or not) = cute baby..

It makes sense…

As nike says JUST DO IT !!


Now I had an ann summers party last night, it was good, I got very very drunk and got some lovely things… Some people have taste don’t they ..yes you!
Anyway it was a good night I got v v drunk.. and I actually got embarrassed, I never get embarrassed.. The gurl said right, put this stuff on your boobs,!! So we did.. I was embarrassed, its really for your Pussy but she said not to do that unless you wanted to, so I opted for the boobs… The gurl then pulls out the Proto something 2 … (fancy names for these fanny teasers) So she comes up to me first and says…
Just place this against your Clit !!!..
Now, I don’t get embarrassed re the whole sex chat stuff and im happy to flash my fanny to any Tom Dick and Hairy but when a stranger asks you to put a little pulsating pebble against my clit infront of your friends you kinda get a lil embarrassed.. However after the gurl explained no I just want you to put it on top of your Jeans !! I was all for it… Sooo little pebble in position,legs crossed and off we go… So it starts from Monday and it runs through the week… Saturday a bit jumpy like a broken down car needing a good kickstart.. (like some men I would guess..not the ones I know though) Anyway turns out Tuesday,wed and Sunday were winners…
Made me laugh a lot.. thank goodness I had went to the loo before hand..

We didn’t really play any dirty dirty games but its good to learn about the people you are friends with… and my my what a bunch of sluts my friends are hehehehheh…

So that was last night and I had fun and people liked my new wee flat so I was happy….

Also yesterday.. I was getting myself ready in my room and I just happened to see this thing go by.. I had a good wee laugh to myself .. I shouldn’t be like that cause each to there own and I cant talk for the way I dress but…
This guy was obv trying to be Flava Flav !! he had a grey trackie on with a cap and this big massive bling round his neck….

trying his hand at

aye and then I saw this gurl the other day to and she had her cap to the side…. Lmao!!


But I shouldn’t be a hater!!



Anyone mind this wee programme?? I loved itttttt




Soooo thats really all I have to talk about at this moment in time...

I shall leave you with this thought though....

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

Funny lil things

So as I was on the number 18 bus I sat and pondered what if all these celebs who goto rehab get brainwashed and stuff??

No wonder that lil lady said NO NO NO!!!

but seriously can you imagine how fucking good it would be?? I mean they would turn into like wierdo zombies.. Hmm well we all know brit is nearly there... she is begining to look like Mr Clean aswell!!!

see Uncanny!!!

we could finally get rid of them all and stop all the shite office talk of ohhhhh look so and so is 5 stone.. oh they are living seperatly, really who gives a fuck... lets talk about real life stuff like ummmmm...like how the prisonors of barlinnie want there own underwear... now thats breaking news!!!!

see there is a new doll on the market to

So whilst on this bus this morning I saw a man with a fancy bag.. well a rucksack.. now I dont know about these people.. cause well his bag said this:

and it was a

Now I dont know like but I dont think I would like to walk about with this bag, it just screams ponce does it not??? Yes!! Anyway that man may not have worked for them but im sure he did and I dont know I just think its pretty lame.. not jealous likes...

I miss the train :( I miss the stories and the people... the number 18 is just not the same...

See there is now competion for that wee fat bastard kid.. they all coming out the woodwork now... My kid is fatter than you they all cry!!! .. wonder how much they get paid for there stories and if it all goes on fast food?

anyway enough of this shite!

There was a time

Hmmm today I saw a mullet.. I was standing in the bus stop and this hooded creature walks up and removes the hood like a scene from Star wars when someone removes the hood of their cloak (if that doesnt happen in star wars it should,maybe I will rewrite it for them and this can be added into the star wars that was set before the first star wars., so it will be like the first ever star wars,yes quite) Anyway this thing!! stands there infront of me... and I start to notice that my view of the road ahead is blocked!! blocked by what you may ask? Well I shall tell you, it was only blocked by her Head!! You remember that friends episode where Chandler Bing!!!! is like going on dates with gurls and this gurl has a massive head well thats what hers was like..
So to recap this Woman!! has a Mullet and a very large head.. Not much going for her then really... (hmm I could have made that funnier) anyway I was shocked..

Eventually my bus came and well I got on it.....journey..... I go to get off the bus however Jabba the hut is only bloody standing infront of me!!!!

(what is it with star wars cast these days) Now you would think in this day and age that we are used to fat people however I still get a wee shock.. this guy was massive, i was gonna start placing bets with the folk on the bus to see if he would get off... speaking of fatties, can you believe that 8 year olds mother is now saying that its the socials fault as they should have done something sooner.. Now i didnt watch that programme last night but i heard she was a lazy cow..

I had a good chinese last night, £2.60 it cost me.. small chicken fried rice and portion chips,free prawn crackers to... and it was Yummmmy!!

I also bought a hamster last night, She is called Tilly :) although i did want to name her Milford cubicle, so that will be here AkA name!